Don't read this blog!! Okay maybe you can.

I have kept this blog hidden from my family and friends. Why is that? I don't want them to know my true weight. This has always been an issue for me. I can put this out here for strangers because if they are judging me I don't have to see them.

I don't want people I know and love to read my thoughts about my body. Will they have less respect for me? Will they love me less?

They see me all the time, they know what I look like. They just don't know how it makes me feel. Should I be able to allow others to know how I feel about getting too heavy and getting flabby. Are other people having the same kinds of feelings about how they feel about their own bodies?

I know and understand that we should all love who we are. I have been able to do that about most things. Body image is still a problem for me. When I was young I was thin and now I can say I had a fabulous body. At the time I probably wouldn't have said that. I'm sure I could have found something wrong with that body too! Why do I do this?

I will think I have gotten to the point to accept myself for who I am, body and all, and then I realize I haven't. A friend who knows I am blogging, asked about where this blog was and I wouldn't tell her. She laughed and said, "your not sharing?" She reads my genealogy blog every day. I wouldn't give her this blog. I don't have it listed on my google profile. I know it has my name listed when i post it. She could find it if she tries. She is heavier than I am, but that doesn't even matter. How my body looks to me has nothing to do with how other people look. It is just something inside my brain. I understand how people can become anorexic. What they see is not what others see. Why is body image such a important issue to us?

I hope someday we can figure out that as long as we are healthy and happy are bodies are perfect. Did our great grandmothers worry about their bodies. I guess so with those horrible corsets they wore to keep their waists tiny. Speaking of that, I had a 22 inch waist after having three children and I wasn't happy with that. Our mothers and grandmothers even wore girdles so tight they couldn't take deep breaths.

Ok i guess I have talked myself into making a stand. I am going to add my blog to my google profile today. Maybe in a day or two I will tell me friend the name of my blog. No, probably not! It will take a little longer to get that open with it. Maybe after I have lost twenty pounds.

WELL OFF TO THE GYM!!!!